Feel the rain touches your skin, you'll be in your very peaceful moment :)

Hello sugarbells,

So I'm really missed the rain so much, more than I did before. Well I found up that these days were always cloudy in the noon, but it was just another cloudy cloud, its not produce any rain, that I have been expected, always. So god, please let your rain poured with me, cause it's the only to bring myself into the relaxing yet peaceful moment ever. Hmm yeah. Too much problems (I meant school problems with lessons one) which fulfill my mind everyday, I'm really fed up because of it! I'm gonna exploding, SOON ENOUGH! Ohh, please just relax. I'm getting more stress with the days when I'm keep getting near to the scariest ghost ever whom ever appear in this world, called UJIAN NASIONAL. Really can't escape from this one. My parents also persisted me to swear much in studying more and more in UN lessons so that I'll scoring gorgeusly for my UN. Oh god, where's your mercy anyway? I'm in such in the bottom of the desperation, so please get me outta here! Those stuffs pissed me off, for sure. Really... *finger crossed*

Also about my midtest. Oh, how KIND my school is?! Too kind! We're gonna have our midtest in 19-29 or 28 October. So, let's count from today, its about, 5 DAYS TO GO, sugarbells! OHMIUGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!!!!!!!!! I'm sooooooooo stressed out dear sugarbells!!! God, really, I never believe I'll be this kinda stress, or never imagine I'll be in this such a shitta situation which I never ever wanna imagine before! Oh god >,<

And, my greatest medicine ever for this kinda case, ONLY, the pouring rain, SUSHI, and cappuccino. Yep! Its only three of 'em which can make me feel even greater than before. Oh god, I'm totally craving for 'em DAMNMUCH!

Enough until here. Gotta post something greater than this shitta after my midtest thingy. Oh sugarbells, really need your goodluck wishes for me to pass my midtest. So, support me! ^_^

So, neither love rain ma sugarbells? Believe me, when it touches your skin, you'll be relax along the fell down of the rain, it drives you into your relaxness condition. Me love it!

Nighty night, XO

Life wouldn't be easy, so just take it easy

Hello Bells! Happy sunday morning anyway! I've got a few things to tell you:

• I feel something different about these days. Strange. Really don't know what. Sometimes my heart feels like it just too unarranged well. Everything inside it just messed up everywehere. Spreading. And it's freaking me out. I could feel so worry about a thing in minutes, but the following minutes, an okay feeling comes to me. So what's that actually bells? Ah, I need to know. I also need some space for my own to feel okay. Yup, OKAY. I don't want get any attention distracted by things or anyone else whom annoyed, disturbed or blablabla. I NEED MY TIME JUST TO FEEL OKAY
• And does the UN thingy getting near to me! I'm not even prepare any great things to prevent me from a red score! Fkvc. Any preparation, bells? Or just things to get me from the stressed-you-out-zone? If you own, just gimme, I want it so bad!
• The Black and White Symphonian. My blog title for now. Asking why? Hmm, actually I just love it, dunno why. I think that title would suits me, and I guess it is. The Black and White Symphonian. Keep mention for that :]
• FILM! Yep! I'm such a movies maniac! Huahaha :D. So these are the films that I've been waiting for, but still doesn't appear here, in my city

'500 DAYS OF SUMMER'

Directed by: Marc Webb

Starring: Zooey Deschanel, Gordon Levitt

'THE FINAL DESTINATION'

Directed by: David R. Ellis

Starring: Shantel VanSanten, Bobby Campo, Hayley Webb, Nick Zano, Krista Allen

'SORORITY ROW'

Directed by: Stewart Hendler

Starring: Audrina Patridge, Rumer Willis, Briana Eviga, Jamie Chung, Margo Harashman

• And I also already watched such a great movie, according to me. Yep, Surrogates. I'm so in love with Bruce Willis acting here! Totally superb!

• The last thing is I got an art assignment to draw a girl face from the left or right side. So this is the result of my eaaaaaw picture. Horrible isn't it? Actually I'm not good at drawing. And I hate its lip. Totally ugly! Horrible at all!

Véale otra vez bells!

there's no TGIF, no more T.T

holahela! feels like I'd been disappear since the holidays thingy. Not enjoying my holiday actually. This is the worst holiday ever. Why? I think you know why. I have no mood to mention that thing here. Enough for holiday-hurt-feeling. Now, let's move on blogbee! Holiday is over already! Yea, officially over! Even though i never ever wanna admit it cause truth is suck.

Let's talk about now. I'm secondary 3, the UN is pretty near. PRETTY NEAR! GOSH! No, no. no. I'm not even ready for that. I have no great preparation for the UN. Why UN always scared almost all of the secondary 3 students rather than makes us feel, emm, feel what? feel great because of its existence? If its true, I wouldn't be the one of 'em. I'm not that hyper for examination thingy, better have a hatred for it, than LOVE it. Sounds worst. Even worst than not having some money for about 2 years.

Finish for UN (cause if we keep talk about it, I bet I'll get scared all the time and can't think about the other great things, only UN, how terrible is that?) now we're talking about my newest addiction. Hmm, we've got our OLIVIA PALERMO here beybeh!!!

Cute isn't she? Of course yes! You have to say, YES! Oh god, how could you create such a pretty yet beautiful yet gorgeous and truly perfect just like OLIVIA PALERMO??!!! Another over addicted to someone or something will made me become this hyper yet maniac :O. But just admit the cuteness, gorgeusness, beautifulness, prettiness until the PERFECTNESS that she has inside of her. Totally PERFECT.

Now, what's next hey blogbees? Hmm, oh god almost forgot this important thing! Happy Batik Day today! Do you guys know about our Batik Day? I bet you guys already know that one, or not? No biggie. Me also knew this one just these earlier days. So the UNESCO already claims that batik is ours hey indonesian! So, are you wearing batik today? All of you? Great then, cause I'm missing this historic day with not using any batik thingy on my body. Hahaha. Cause my school not even asked us to use batik. They were not appreciate this one I guess. Or maybe they're just too busy with their unimportant bussiness thingy until they finally forgot this BATIK DAY. Give a big big applause for my school! -,-"

Done with the school-no-appreciation-for-batik-day, now let's continue to my NEW daily activities. FYI, now, I have to wake up at 5.OO A.M, then go to school at least at 06.30 A.M, after that me and the other secondary 3 students would have such a 'pemantapan pagi' every monday to friday at 7.00 A.M-7.50 A.M, then continued with school usually tiring activies until 5.OO P.M, then every tuesday-thursday-saturday I have a tuition at primagama 5.00 P.M-6.45 P.M, still not finished yet, cause on saturday my school also asked us for another 'pemantapan for UN subjects' 8.00 A.M-12.00 P.M. HOW BUSY AM I MA BLOGBEES? SEE MY PATHETIC SCHEDULE UP THERE? It'll made my stamina dropped soon enough I guess. Too tired for a students just like us. We're not robots, hey! So how's you daily activities for my secondary 3 blogbees? Just as pathetic as the way I have my schedules? Or not? Or even more than that?

YEA, IT'S HOLIDAY!

HOLIDAY IS FINALLY COMING TO ME, BLOGBEEE!! You may see how excited I am cause of this holiday thingy. Lemme sing okay? Okay, ehm ehm, test test,

"Libur telah tiba,libur telah tiba

Hore,Hore,Hore

Simpanlah tas dan bukumu

Lupakan keluh kesahmu

Libur telah tiba,libur telah tiba

Hatiku gembira!"

Ya ampun itu lagu kayaknya udah jaman duluuuuuuuuuuuuu banget yak. Lagunya tasya kan itu? Kalo gasalah video klipnya tu dia liburan sekolah bareng temen-temennya ke puncak naik bus. Trus ya dia nyanyi2 noh di dalem busnya. Ada temennya lg baca komik, trus ada yg lagi tidur. Nah loh masih inget aja dah! Hahahaha

Hmm, next please, that's not our topic here. Okay, this HOLIDAY means :

1.Cuma 10 hari? HELL ya aja tu DJ -_-"

2.No suck things that always love to surrounds me EVERYDAY!

3.No books, no uniform, no daily tests, no school. I'M DAMN FREE!

4.No waking up at 7 a.m in the morning

5.No tiring day that always pissed me off

6.I'm going out of the town! Hoooray! Au Revoir bataaaam, and, here I come, JAKARTA! :D

7.Shopping, shopping, shopping

8.Sour sally-ing, Hevaenly blush-ing

9.Meet my relatives. OMG I miss 'em damnmuch! Let's have a great time together ma cherries!

10.LEBARAN! Huahahaha

Iya berhubung ini liburnya tu libur lebaran, ya jadi ini saatnya gue berwisata kuliner nyicipin makanan dari rumah sodara ke rumah sodara. Hehe(Keliatan rakusnya). Daaaaan, the worst part of all is, LIBUR LEBARAN CUMA 10 HARI! 10 HARI DOANG! Bayangkan betapa tersiksanya saya bersekolah disana *the school name is so unmentioned a.k.a sensored*. Tapi yah, dipikir pikir masih mending diliburin daripada sekolah mulu. Kalo iya sekolah mulu, bakar aja deh tu sekolah.

Oya hasil-hasil ulangan + try out english + kuis gue kurang memuaskan. Gue sebutin nilai yg bagusnya aja ya. Hehe. Hmm, apa ya? Oya, MATHS! Wahahaha. Bangga dengan nilai 8,5 :D. Ya berhubung gue rada bego kalo ngitung, jadi dapet nilai maths segitu tu udah miracle banget (ya ampun ini kenapa gue jd hiperbolis begini -,-). Kuis biologi dapet 8,3 :D. Trus trus try out english yaaaa, dapet 9,3. Huehehe(bangga). Sebenernya ada beberapa ulangan lagi yg udah keluar nilainya. Tapi berhubung gue dapetnya 'jelek' jadi unmentioned a.k.a sensored aja ya. Nilai jelek tu gaboleh dipublikasikan :P. Yang belom dikasitau nilainya juga banyak. Dan ulangan2 itu bisa dibilang ga susah susah banget(wehe sombong bener ni anak), tapi yah, nilainya ga dijamin bagus sih. Hehehe

Aduh ya ampun udah beneran gasabar nunggu tanggal 23. JAKARTA-ing blogbee! Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait, can't wait, can't wait :DD

Perasaan makin lama nulis disini makin gajelas. Mending udahan deh ya. Ntar malah jadi ga nyambung. Bellabelle blogbee!

PS : Gonna update the photos that may captured when I'm taking my holiday, ASAP

should I walk away, or?

"I tell myself, "this time it's different."

No goodbyes, cause eyes can't bear to say it.

"I'll never survive on one that's coming",

If I stay, Ooh!

Just Walk Away! Ooh, and don't look back.

Cause if my heart breaks, It's gonna hurt so bad.

You know I'm strong, but I can't take that.

Before It's too late. Oh, just Walk Away!"

That is the lyrics from HSM 3 song, Walk Away. Hmm, walk away. Shall I? Okay, I didn't ever realize what my problems are. I hope I have no problems for now. Just for now. And if it's could, for now, and forever. I feel that the problem is about 'feelings'. Yea, my feelings, actually. I still don't understand with what do I feel, until now.

Sometimes, I'd like to ask myself, what's wrong with that. Just like, "What do I feel inside?", "What's that?", "Am I ever feel this one before?", "It does feel so strange, isn't it?". That questions may suddenly turned me to become an insane person. Talked to myself. But, idk why, it really makes me feel better. Well yea, you should've known that I don't really like to share my problems with someone. I don't have any bestfriend yet. Yeah

So, this feeling is totally success made me messed up. TOTALLY SUCCESS. Sucks or what. Damnit. Actually I never expect this feeling before. It's so unexpected. Even for the god's sake. That feeling comes in sudden. Can I refuse it? CAN I? And that feeling probably can break me apart, for sure ma blogbee.

Then the questions will be,

"If my world get collapse in sudden, with who I'll be holding onto? Would you?"

What's the great answer for this silly question? Hmm, lemme think for a sec. Maybe it'll be,

"What? Yes, I will. I'd be glad to if you're holding onto me. I won't let you break apart."

Oh god, I'm being sooooo mellow. Phew, am I right? Yes, of course I am. But, I just can't help it. It is true if that thing would turns me into the mellow mode in sudden. What should I do? Hmm, keep thinking, nada. Unfortunately, I have NO IDEA.

Am I keep talking shit here? Oh, no problem right, blogbee? You should gimme time for my insanity, so that I will not get exploded. Wuahahaha. Exploded is way more dangerous than I keep talking shit with you guys. Yes? Right? True? Oh just answer it with, "Ohoho, yes."

Okay, I guess I won't be speechless if we're discussed about this unexpected yet hard-to-understand feeling ever. Whoa.

Then, shall I walk away from this feeling? Hide, maybe? Or just pretending in front of the other people that I never feel just like this one, for now? Shall I? It means that I'm lying. Right? Yea, of course. But I'm so having no idea for this case of mine. Even though this is my own feeling, but, just admit it, I'm totally HAVE NO IDEA, speechless also hopeless for that. But not until depressed or a kind of that one. I hope, I will not.

I already talked too many shit with you guys. You may get bored to read this post, but, I just try to tell ya what do I feel inside. What's the thing that keep disturbing me all the time. And the answer is 'unexpected yet hard-to-understand feeling ever'. There's no other answer.

I have no words to typed again, totally speechless. Finally I am. And unfortunately, while I'm keep disturbed by this feeling, a lot of daily tests await! I must be so dead! Goddamnit! Tomorrow I have physics, vocab also armel daily tests. I always worried about the physics. I need things that may bring a goodluck to me for tomorrow. Yea, keep hoping for that -___-"